just lost my marbles to this song and now i have bedlock….ugh
(Source: youtube.com)
The Verve - Neon Wilderness
Answer:
I want to ignore this all together because it’s inflammatory and without a “?” it warrants no response. However, in the interest of clearing all the fucking nosey air out there:
Dorian had a ladyfriend before we met, we aren’t besties or anything but she’s cool and about to drive my no-license having ass to SF so any dissonance that might exist isn’t the result of her relationship with him it’s more so a matter of her being a Glamazon from the East Coast and me being a Dwarf from California.
I’ll keep it real—-D’s Poly life isn’t easy, “socially acceptable”, tear-free or the work I would be doing as someone who barely even id’s as an open relator but it’s part of the fine tuning I promised myself I would be focused on when we got back together. So even when it blows the most it still feels worth it.
To return to love, to get the love we always wanted but never had, to have the love we want but are not prepared to give, we seek romantic relationships. We believe these relationships, more than any other, will rescue and redeem us. True love does have the power to redeem but only if we are ready for redemption. Love saves us only if we want to be saved. So many seekers after love are taught in childhood to feel unworthy, that nobody could love them as they really are, and they construct a false self. In adult life they meet people who fall in love with their false self. But this love does not last. At some point, glimpses of the real self emerge and disappointment comes. Rejected by their chosen love, the message received in childhood is confirmed: Nobody could love them as they really are.
Few of us enter romantic relationships able to receive love. We fall into romantic attachments doomed to replay familiar family dramas. Usually we do not know this will happen precisely because we have grown up in a culture that as told us that no matter what we experienced in our childhoods, no matter the pain, sorrow, alienation, emptiness, no matter the extent of our dehumanization, romantic love will be ours. We believe we will meet the girl of our dreams. We believe “someday our prince will come.” They show up just as we imagined they would. We wanted the lover to appear but most of us were not really clear about what we wanted to do with them— what the love was that we wanted to make and how we would make it. We were not ready to open our hearts fully.
"Russian. Vladmir Nabokov describes it best: “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.”
(via bloodyguttedpoetry)
and now for something completely different….
(Source: youtube.com)
